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Handless Musician

from Tumours by Executive Producer

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lyrics

60 BPM

If I had time my time back, I’d probably join a band
But I wouldn’t play any instruments cause I ain’t got no hands
I guess I’d have to sing and someone else would control my mic stand
I’d sing about real things like having no hands

Handless musician
Bandless amputee

I wanna be a handless musician
To be honest I got two hands, but they’re in a jar in the kitchen
Floating around with the pickled eggs
Just being jealous of my feet attached to my legs

Maybe I could also play the feet drums
For that you don’t need any fingers or thumbs
My Left Foot showed me the way
Daniel Day Lewis put on an inspiring display

But no, it’s different I know
Trying to be a musician with no hands

Why can’t I just do it?
What’s really keepin me from following my dream?
(I mean) There’s a headless horseman in the forest
A heartless guy fighting the Care Bears
Kevin Bacon was footless in that movie
But at least they all had hands...

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Omitted lyrics which initially appeared after the Daniel Day-Lewis line:
He’s a better actor than me even though he’s got two hands
And as everyone knows, the best actors have no hands
Stumpy McNulty and Hooky McBain
They’re the two best actors I ever seen

credits

from Tumours, released February 24, 2016
LIGO Lab - Sound of gravitational waves

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Executive Producer St. John'S, Newfoundland and Labrador

The side projections of a kalopsia sufferer.

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