1. |
When I Die
05:38
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When I die, are you gonna bury me
Is a suit and tie how you want to remember me
Will you fly home for my funeral
Will everyone say “Fuck cancer”
Will they say it anyway
When I’m dead, will you have a drink for me
Will you ever think of me again
Will you only remember the good times
Will you wonder if I coulda been someone great
Only if I die young
Will my words have more meaning
Only if I die young
When I’m gone, will the paper say how everyone loved me
Did everyone love me
Will anyone have the nerve to say I deserved it
Who will pretend we were closer than we actually were
When I die, are you gonna let me burn
Scatter me in Placentia Bay when it’s my turn
Will you set up a grant in my name
Will I get my own memorial hashtag
Only if I die young
You can shoot me out of a cannon
You can send your thoughts and prayers to someone else
You can cut me up and serve me with Sunday dinner
It doesn’t matter what you do with me
Cause I’ll be dead
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2. |
Friend
06:24
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I’m your friend, you might need me, but I have no idea what to do
I lie in bed and hope that you're alright but we both know that’s not enough
You are a friend of mine
Like a candlelight, you shine in my darkness
You are like a drink of water
In the desert, when I am dry
I’m locked in here
I’m locked in here
Don’t forget about me
I’m locked in here
I only need one way out
I don’t think I’m cut out for this life
Can I have another one?
I don’t think I’m cut out for this life
Can I have another one?
I don’t think I’m cut out for this life
Can I have another one?
I don’t think I’m cut out for this life
You, you saved me
Like a fish in a net, I was caught, you let me go
You are a friend of mine
Are a friend of mine, of mine
I hope that you're okay
I hope you're gonna be okay
I hope that you're okay
But I know you're not
I spend my life waiting for things to change
I spend my days alone
It has happened like this before
But I still think I am drowning
You say you need me
You forgave me
You were the only one
Just leave me with one way out
I'll find it
Just leave me alone
I've got a feeling it's gonna be okay
I've got a feeling we're gonna be okay
I've got a funny feeling we're gonna be okay
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3. |
Pisces
02:56
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I’m a Pisces and I don’t have an answer
Why I’m bad at catching fish but pretty good at gettin’ cancer
Maybe if I was conceived in October
I’d be a fisherman for a living and be free of sarcoma
This is pure butts
Everything going on right now is pretty nuts
Say hi to my gastrointestinal stromal tumour
She’s real as hell, Hazel’s no rumour
I’ll play the cancer card whenever I need to
To get out of boring social gatherings
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4. |
Hey Neighbour
01:29
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Hey neighbour
I’d like to meet you
I see you walking around your house
I feel like I know you
Neighbour
Maybe we should be friends
I’ll bring over some chips
We can put on the local sports game
But really I don’t want friends based on proxmity
I choose them based on shared interests
Like hatred for other people
But I’d still like to
Meet you (just once)
Every now and then we lock eyes (through the window)
But one of us turns away
With nothing real to say except
Hey neighbour
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5. |
Half Moon Cold
00:37
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6. |
She's A Good Day
01:26
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G C D G
Hey hey hey, she’s almost done
Em C Bm C
’Twas’a good day, ya knows we had ourselves some fun
G C Bm C
I went to CONA and you went to MUN
G C G Em D G
But still we knows yer comin' home wit' me
G C D G
We left the bar, headed back to mine
Em C Bm C
Even under the ugly lights, you still looked fine
G C Bm C
Thanks be to Jesus, I saved a couple lines
G C G Em D G
'Cause dere was no more beer left
G C D G
We had a laugh up in me room
Em C Bm C
But ye gotta go now, I starts work soon
G C Bm C
Ye caught me, I don’t have no job to do
G C G Em D G
But the missus is gettin’ back da morrow
G C D G
Shit, she’s back early, I hears her on the stairs
Em C Bm C
Quick, get in the closet and shut up me dear
G C Bm C
Fuck by, will ya give it up with them tears
G C G Em D G
Wha' d'you expect, we met at Trapper’s.
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7. |
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8. |
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9. |
Big Mary
00:56
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10. |
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So I know it doesn’t look like I’m as bad as the guy in the wheelchair, but, you’ll see.
I have cancer. I know I’m not the first one to start a set like that, but…
Actually, we all kinda have cancer. There’s like little cancer cells in all of us, so it’s like, you guys have cancer, I have cancer.
But I have real cancer as well.
It’s like a tumour, it’s in my stomach, it’s pretty big. Yeah, it’s big enough. Yeah, so I was at the doctor the other day - I gotta get surgery next week, so I was at the doctor to sign consent forms for everything that they’re allowed to do. He put the first one in front of me, he said “Okay, this one says we’re allowed to take the tumour out of your body," and I said, “That’s fantastic.” Let’s do it.
And he was like, “Okay, the next one says we’re can take your stomach too,” and I was like, “Okay… my whole stomach?” and he goes, “Yeah yeah.”
"Alright, well you guys must know better than I do, I assume you’ll figure out some way that I can take a shit at some point, so yeah, alright, sounds good.”
And he goes, “So this next one is called a whipple.”
“A whipple? That sounds great. Really light.”
“That means we can take anything else we want, any other organs in your body, depending where the tumour is.”
“Alright, sounded good at the beginning, getting a little worse now, but whatever, do what you gotta do. Cut me up, and we’ll see what happens with that.”
Yeah, so I’ve had cancer for about a year, I’ve been on chemo, and the doctor said I might lose my hair, but as you can tell, I wasn’t really too concerned about that. So that’s fine, as of right now it’s okay.
What else happened?
A lot of people, a lot of my friends don’t really know how to relate, how to bring it up and stuff, even though they’re curious. Some people are like, “Oh, yeah, I heard you’re feeling a little under the weather lately.”
“Yeah, it’s raining tumours, that’s how it is.”
Other people keep telling me how brave I am, which is nice. I’ve been non-confrontational my whole life, I’ve been running away from fights, and suddenly I’m brave, for some reason.
So, there’s something else about being brave.
Yeah, I even got strangers to shave their head for me, so this whole bravery thing is working out for me so far.
There’s also some good parts about having cancer you guys might not know about.
I get to play the cancer card, so other people can do things for me. I’ll be sitting down with my buddy, and be like, “Hey man, can you get me a beer?” He goes, “Get your own beer.”
“I dunno, man, the cancer’s acting up again. You better get me that beer."
A lot of people also have their own cures for the cancer. A lot of people who have no medical experience.
My neighbour is a pothead and he really thinks that marijuana is a cure for any type of cancer.
He’s like, “Come on man, you gotta smoke.”
“If weed could get rid of cancer it never would've shown up in the first place.”
Another good thing, is I get this cane. People think I’m like distinguished.
Okay, I gotta go now. The bit about the cane, it’s pretty good but I forget it right now. So I’ll just say it’s my first time on stage, I figured if I didn’t do it now, maybe I never would.
Okay, thanks guys.
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Executive Producer St. John'S, Newfoundland and Labrador
The side projections of a kalopsia sufferer.
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