A Slightly More Complicated Desultory Philippic (or How I was Sharpshooter’d Into Submission)

from Executively Produced by Executive Producer

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Designed by Meg Robichaud to commemorate a wise mechanic immigrant I once was.

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lyrics

I’ve been Tony Danza / Adam Lanza
Tyler Perry / the toothless fairy
Get all my drugs from Tommy Tutone
I’ve been Mayim Bialik / Joey Slotnick
Katie Couric / Bosh’s uncle Padraig
Still got tickets left from Kidzone

I’ve been Alex Trebek / Jeff Beck, Glen Beck / I’ve even been regular Beck
But only before Mellow Gold
I watched Jonovision / David Cross’s audition
Drank Al Cappucino / With the man from Encino
That’s B-Fras before The Mummy, I am told

I had a dream, where I ran into Peter / but he looked more like a parking meter
I fed him a loonie, his face turned green / Philip Maloney knows what I mean
Got stuck in a Cornell box / With Bono Vox
He told me Annie’s Beard / wasn’t really that weird
But it’s alright, Juice / I’m still sleeping and I don’t know if I’ll ever wake up

I’ve been Bert & Gerted / had my nipples inverted
Killed my Tamagotchi / Lost the pallino in bocce
I’ve coloured more than fifty shades of grey
Captained the Lyubov Orlova / Witnessed Jehovah
Been Philip Seymour Hoffman / I gotta cough, man
Probably from smokin' a rock of crack a day
But I don’t inhale / Without my manx’s tail